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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
"and if u can't move on i can't do anything. Sheesh.." The phrase echoes in her head. She realised that she was wrong. She tried to make it up. She wanted to improve. She need his forgiveness. She needed an assurance that they are still friends. She needed to hear "it's alrite..i'm ok now."...It's not easy to admit that ur wrong. It's not easy to humble urself. Stil harder to make urself say that u wanna make a difference and then reali keep track of urself to make an effort to change. But she does reali wan to make a difference...but like all human beings, she falls again and again.Walkin along the subways..it was as tho time was passing by so slowly. Every step she took was so directionless. She walked..not knowing wher she was goin. She saw some familiar faces..but turned and looked away, feeling ashamed of herself. Not wanting anyone to know how ugly she was. She continued walking. Holdin back all that she was taking. Just minutes ago..all those words...the eyes, the gestures..the tone of his voice..;they're playing all over again in her head. She closes her eyes...a huge lump stuck between her throat..she swallowed hard. Tears welling up her eyes...she hold it even more, liftin her chin a lil higher so her tears wouldn't flow out. She took in a gulp of air and just hold them all in.Someone once said, "If u can't do it...fake it till u can!" If pretense could be made real, she would pretend all her life that everything will always be ok. But in reality...it will never happen. Or at least not to her.
Those words hit her again, and it cuts her heart. But maybe she deserves it for being the first to hurt someone....maybe it's pay back time,..maybe it's time to have a taste of her own medicine?!?!! It could be possible..it could.Is ther a way to neutralise all these pain? All these disappointments? All these hurts? I wish there is such potion..such antidote..
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Hi,
Call me Furunu. Actually it is my name in Jap. Looked it up from the net. Thought it sounded nice, so mite as well use it. =] Anyway, my main intention of creating this blog is to feature some of my works, things i like doin for eg, like eating good food and obviously, to blog. I hope u will enjoy urself. I can't promise to update really frequently, but i wud love to try. I knw..some of them are snikkering already, as i have failed to maintain my blog previously. *sigh*..i am just bad la. But i am not givin up yet!! *long pause*..*doubtful smile*..i just hope i can stick to wat i say la. I need more time..more TIME!!!
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